How to survive the World Cup if you’re not a football fan

Football fans tell us what not to do, and it’s hilarious

Staff Writer 3 Min Read 4 Min Audio

Which ones are we? What’s the score? Do you want more chips? Did you know Cristiano was in Dubai last summer?

Apparently, these are exactly the kinds of questions that get devoted football fans fired up – and not in a good way. So, Frankly went directly to the source and spoke to fans across the UAE to find out exactly what not to do in order to survive the Fifa World Cup Qatar 2022 if you don’t actually enjoy watching the sport. Here are some of the best – and most hilarious – responses:

  1. Asking me too many questions, like who’s winning? The score is right there. Or asking, ‘which one are we? which one is real Madrid? Who are the white ones?’ 
  1. My girlfriend tends to think it’s an event. Let’s say we’re watching the game… she orders food and she makes it about food. For, me it’s a sport. For her, it’s an event. It’s like she’s going to watch a movie. I’m passionate and I care. It gets annoying. And if somebody else is there, she starts talking a lot, which is not ideal for me. 
  1. Don’t scream loudly. That’s annoying. Do that in stadiums, but in non-stadiums, it’s very obnoxious. I’ve never screamed unless I’m at a stadium or home alone, because in a stadium, I’m with my fans who support my team, and at home, I’m alone.
  1. There are guys who don’t watch football in my group, and they open their own topics and start talking about something else entirely. In football, when everybody else is focused, and they’re talking at the same volume as the commentator, it’s extremely annoying. 
  1. Girls – don’t ever pretend to know about [football] if you don’t know about it. 
  1. Making jokes is fine, but don’t make jokes when the other team is getting trashed. It’s insensitive. Make jokes within a limit. A 1-0 loss is okay to joke about, whereas a 7-1 loss joke is not okay. But you can crack a joke about Neymar; he’s known for his theatrics. 
  1. If you’re not English and you start singing, “it’s coming home”, it’s deemed highly offensive. It’s very special to English fans, but people sing it in a pub. How dare you sing it? It’s a football song. Even if you’re English and you’re not a football fan, it’s a big no-no. It’s like going to church when you’re not a Christian. 
  1. Girls – don’t wear a football shirt. A lot of women think it’s cool to wear a Brazil or Argentina or Italy top, but you get a lot of women who have nothing to do with football wearing the t-shirts. It’s really insulting for football fans, so don’t do it. They [women] think it’s cool, but no, it’s not. 
  1. Going to a football fan zone – You get a lot of rich people booking the best tables at football fan zones, but they’re not actually football fans. So they’re just sitting there, talking to each other or starting at their phones. They’re doing everything but watching the game, and yet they’ve got the best tables. They need to be cheering, not just ignoring the game. 
  1. The most annoying type of football fan is… we call him the facts and figures guy. There’s always some guy in a bar giving commentary when nobody is asking for it. You’d be watching Argentina and Messi gets the ball, and he’ll say something like, this is Messi’s 27th game for Argentina. There’s always that one guy who will just share all this historical information to anybody who will listen. It’s like they’re on Google Analytics.